Robyn

Stewart

they/them, ze/zir

visual artist & writer

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instagram: @incandescentlynova

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'NO BINARIES ONLY ANARCHY'

a.k.a Gender Anarchy Rat

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'Trans Solidarity'

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'Queer Bodies

(but not all...)'

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'Self Portrait'

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'Trans Love is Ethereal'

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Spoken-Word Pieces

These were all inspired by Alok Vaid-Menon’s spoken word pieces as well as Dean Atta’s “Black Flamingo”; all have content warnings and small bits about what inspired them or what they’re about! 

25th June 2020 

CW: transphobia, death mentions, harassment, violence, intrusive thoughts

Wrote during the summer when I was going through a lot of different feelings about my transness and being non-binary.

 

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

 

I EXIST OUTSIDE THE BINARY

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

I CAGE MY RIBS IN BINDERS

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

I WEAR SIZE 4s

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

MY MAKEUP HAS STAYED STORED FOR A YEAR

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

THE WAITING LIST IS THE LENGTH OF MY DEGREE

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

I CANNOT PICK A BATHROOM

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

I AM STARED AT ON A PACKED TRAIN

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

MY VOICE IS NOT MY OWN

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

 

I’M ASKING YOU TO USE MY PRONOUNS

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

I’M EXCLUDED FROM THE WORLD’S PARTY

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

MY BINDER IS SUFFOCATING MY LUNGS

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

I AM NEITHER “F” NOR “M” MARKER

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

MY INTRODUCTION IS A 5 MINUTE EDUCATION

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

THE OLD WOMAN AT THE SHOP,

SHE CALLS ME “HE”

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

 

I FEEL MISERABLE

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

I WANT TO RUNAWAY

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

THE GOVERNMENT WON’T LISTEN

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

THE MEDIA WANTS US DEAD

AM I TRANS ENOUGH?

 

YES

YES I AM TRANS ENOUGH.

MY FRIENDS UNDERSTAND.

I AM TRANS ENOUGH.

THE COMMUNITY SUPPORTED ME EVERY WAY

I AM TRANS ENOUGH.

OUR TRANS ANCESTORS KNEW IT TOO,

WE ARE TRANS ENOUGH.

19th November 2020 

CW: Transphobia, death mention, self-harm

Translated from Scottish English to Scots with some Scottish slang mixed in. 

Wrote for TDoR but was inspired by the announcement that the government was cutting funding for support for LGBTQ+ kids in English schools. 

 

TH’ GOVERNMENT WANTS ME DEID.

 

Th’ government wants me deid.

He wants tae shuve me in a casket 'n' tak' a' ma history wi' me.

He winna murther me wi' a bomb nor a militar occupation. He’ll murther me by seelence insteid.

He’ll lat me suffer in a classroom, lat me be yelled at in th' street, oan a scotrail train, in a cludgie. 'n' if A try tae escape or struggle free, 

he’ll mind tae pit his foot oan me.

Whiles it feels like A am awready deid. But there’s a fire in ma saul 'n' a voice in ma heid. I’m 20 'n' i’m here. Bit i’m aw th’ pre-teen queer.

A don’t mind th' age, but ah mind th' moment. Th' moment ah tried tae rid masel o' ma chest wi' a pair o' kids' scissors - scissors A still awn. 

That’s th' moment that keeps me gaun. Or mebbe it’s th' verbal abuiss A teuk at schuil, or th' harassment oan th' scotrail train last november or th' trauma- na maiter, it aw remeens in ma brain.

Th' government wants me deid.

But A willnae lie doun in ma grave.

I winna allou th' government tae murther ma younger sel, 

A winna allow him tae rob us o' oor bodies, oor minds.

If th’ government wants us deid, 

He’s gaun’ae hiv tae git throu’ me first.

10th February 2021

CW: mentions of body mutilation/modification

In response to NHS England taking away puberty blockers for under-16s in England.

 

i was once a trans kid

 

You tell me trans kids shouldn’t be allowed puberty blockers.

 

But I was once a trans kid.

 

See I was privileged enough to realise from a young age that I was different.

I knew when I tried to cut my chest off that I was different from the other kids. I didn’t have the vocab I do now, but I knew.

 

I was once a trans kid.

A trans kid who probably would have stopped at nothing to have puberty blockers if they’d known about them.

Trans does not have an age. We just figure things out at different times and that’s okay.

But what’s not okay is you, telling us how to live, how to breathe.

I wanted to rip my uterus out the first time I had my period, I wanted to cut off my chest with scissors. I did not want the puberty I went through. 

And yet you gave me no option. 

No choice.

 

I was once a trans kid.

Now I’m trans twenty.

I would give all the love I have right now to my younger self if I could - bundle them up and tell them it's gonna be okay, you’ll find a strength like no other and you’ll be okay. 

You are loved and you have such a vibrant community who loves you too. Things will be hard but you’ll kick back harder. (You always kicked back harder anyways.)

Being trans is love.

And trans kids deserve love.